Written By: Lisa Mitchell and Lisa Messina
Deep down underneath it all, everyone wants to feel seen and heard, right? Isn’t it our birthright to feel safe and able to communicate freely, and to feel that our messages are clearly received? The answers to both questions should be a resounding ‘yes.’ Unfortunately, it is likely easy for each of us to recall a recent exchange where we were left feeling unseen, unheard, and like we struggled to communicate honestly. It is common for these types of experiences to leave us feeling upset and unfulfilled. Communicating with authenticity can feel hard, even when we are fortunate to be in the presence of another who is offering support and safety for us to say what we feel. Even in the best circumstances, it can be challenging to speak our truth.
So what gets in the way of our capacity to show up and communicate freely? As a way to keep ourselves safe, many blocks emerge. For instance, lots of us are preoccupied with being polite. We conform to social norms and expectation around how we “should” be. Some of us hold a belief that we need to appear perfect in order to demonstrate that we have it all together, that we need to be strong, competent and capable. It is common to wonder, if it is really safe to show up as is and if we can truly trust others with our truths. Being vulnerable can feel exquisitely uncomfortable and so we often close off in order to protect ourselves. This closing off can become an ingrained pattern. Without acquiring conscious communication skills, we can go through the majority of our lives feeling a lack of deep connection and intimacy and yet, as humans we are wired and long for connection and love.
In today’s world we suffer from a lack of connection. Social bonding – in the truest sense of the word (NOT social media) is about an energetic, authentic and compassionate exchange between beings. The exchange is is equal parts offering and receiving. The benefits of social connection have been studied. Connecting with another:
Improves physical and psychological well-being
Boosts the feel-good-hormones e.g., dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone
Strengthens and regulates the immune system
Increases empathy and compassion
Crumbles the illusion of separation between self and other
Positively impacts one’s life expectancy!
Our desire for connection is innate, however real communication and connection skills are rarely, or not explicitly taught at all. At some point, we may wake up to the realization that we have to learn and practice how to be with others wholeheartedly. One of the ways to do this is through Authentic Communication.
Inspired to enhance your ability to relate and deepen connection with others? ? We, the Lisa’s (Lisa Mitchell and Lisa Messina)are teaming up to facilitate a comprehensive and practical workshop for those wishing to gain the tools to be in wholehearted relationships. Authentic communication or conscious communication is a deep, uninhibited way of relating that takes place in the present moment. As facilitators we are committed to creating a safe place for you to explore practices like: tuning in, active listening, non-violent communication, and boundary investigation. Authentic Communication is rooted in Satya, one of the ethical principles of yoga, meaning truth. The study of yoga equips us with the tools to better know ourselves and authentic communication builds on this foundation by inviting us to know ourselves in relationship. Authentic communication is truly a practice. We get better at it over time and then it becomes a way of being that gets integrated in your life.
Both of us were introduced to Authentic Communication in our three year Relational Somatic Psychotherapy program and we know that it has enriched our friendship as well as many other significant relationship in our lives. The beauty of this practice is that the skills you will learn will strengthen your relationship to yourself as well as relationships to others.
You don’t want to miss this one. Come to this workshop solo or register a significant other in your life. Start 2019 off right by giving yourself the gift of strengthening your ability to communicate and connect in a conscious manner. This workshop is experiential in nature. We look forward to seeing you there!